When I was growing up, I never understood clicks; you know, those groups of people who hang out and seem to have some unwritten rules about who is welcome and who is not...?
You see, I was an outsider...
I believe that some of that has to do with the fact that I live a lifestyle that is very foreign to most people; especially when I was a kid growing up in the entertainment business.
I noticed that people who enjoy clicks, enjoy them for their exclusivity, so I would find myself in this quandary where, for whatever reason, somebody in one of the clicks would take a shine to me and begin to do what I now affectionately refer to as, "the discovery process." The discovery process seemed to have some pretty basic criteria as a youth:
• Are you cool?
• Are you pretty?
• Do you dress the way we dress?
• Do you use the same jargon that we use?
I would usually fair well enough with those, but then there were some more insidious criteria:
• Do you hang out with anyone who doesn't meet the first 3 criteria?
• Do you dislike the same people we dislike?
• Do you ignore and even taunt those who don't measure up?
Well, these would always take me out of the running.
I always gave everyone a chance to be my friend (sometimes multiple chances).
Now as I am all grown up, I notice that these clicks haven't gone away and if anything, they have even more insidious criteria.
So, I've made peace with the notion that I am not going to be everybody's cup o' tea which means that I may not always have a full social calendar.
But I would rather have relationships that aren't based on some wacky criteria measuring stick.